when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
