So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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