dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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