I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize