you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
