No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize