is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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