did you get engaged???
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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