Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize