his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
