i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
