I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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