i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
