gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
