is your mom at the bar?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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