..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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