I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
