Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Where is the hickey?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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