ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize