it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
