Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed

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(805): View more from California

she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

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(740): View more from Ohio

Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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(954): View more from Florida

im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat

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(701): View more from North Dakota

second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.

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(518): View more from New York

The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties

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(503): View more from Oregon

Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?

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