Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
