no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
3pm strippers are depressing
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
