Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
