Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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