Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
