cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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