His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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