"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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