great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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