dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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