winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
