Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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