Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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