i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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