no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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