yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
