i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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