Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
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