oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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