Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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