Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
