Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize