I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
