dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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