She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize