You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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