that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
