I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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