time to smoke my breakfast
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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