respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
