How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
