she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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