carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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