I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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