just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
