I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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