She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize
